Reckless Driving
by XXforget-x-me-x-notXX
Summary: Feeling abandoned by his best friend, Kyle ends up spending time with a certain poor kid that no one has seen in a while.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- I was having trouble with writing other things, so I figured I'd start something new. Let me know what you think and if I should keep going.

* * *

I look at my watch for what felt like the thousandth time. It was 5:12, two minutes after the last time I had checked. Stan was supposed to drive me home today. His girlfriend, Wendy, is in the school musical and she had rehearsal after class. Stan said he wanted to watch it for a little while. He _promised _it would only take half an hour. It had now been almost two hours.

I'm not even sure why I'm still waiting. He's probably fucking Wendy in the prop closet. It takes about fifteen minutes to drive home from here, so it would probably take about an hour and half to walk. I could be home right now. But no, Wendy's too fucking important.

I mean, I don't mind that he hangs out with her all the time. Sometimes it feels like he has no time for me anymore, and that sucks. For the most part, though, I get it, you know. He's caught up in the romance and he wants to hang out with her. I don't mind. As long as he tells me. I hate when he does this, though. When we make plans, and he just bails for his girlfriend. It's such a dick move. He should at least warn me.

Whenever they break up, he constantly talks about what a bitch she is, how all he needs are his friends anyway. Then they get back together, and he just says don't worry, it'll be different this time. And it never fucking is.

I check my watch again. Five fourteen. It's always the same story with Stan. He never comes through. I don't have another way to get back home, and he knows that. He knows that I'm just sitting around waiting for him. But he's with _Wendy _and I'm out here and it's fucking cold.

And now it has started snowing. Fucking fantastic.

In addition to the snow, I notice something else. I can smell cigarette smoke and I couldn't before. I turn and I notice a familiar figure, with messy blond hair and an orange hoodie.

"Hey, man," Kenny says with a wide grin. "What are you still doing here?"

"Ken!" I say, smiling back. "Where've you been, dude?"

I give him the usual guy hug. Stan, Cartman, Butters and I didn't hang out all that much with Kenny anymore. After middle school, we kind of drifted a bit. He hangs around mostly with Craig, Clyde and Tweek now. I guess he and Craig got really close when summer when Stan and I were away and Cartman was being a tool as usual and Butters was following Cartman around like a lost puppy.

Nevertheless, I'm happy to see him. He seems to periodically disappear. Sometimes, he's just gone for a couple days. Other times, it's a few weeks. No one ever really goes looking for him because he always comes back. This time, he had been gone for two full months.

He just shrugs in response. "Oh, you know. Just hanging out."

"Well, it's good to see you!" I say, clapping him on the back. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, we should catch up sometime," he replies, taking a drag from his cigarette.

Before I can respond, my phone buzzes in my pocket. A text from Stan.

_sorry, man, I'll be done in like thirty minutes, I swear_

I sigh loudly and run my fingers through my hair. Yeah, it was supposed to only take thirty minutes in the first place. And now it'll take two and a half hours. That asshole. It's freezing cold- fucking snowing, and he's still hanging out with his girlfriend.

"Dude, whats going on?" Kenny asks.

"Fucking Stan and his stupid girlfriend. We were supposed to leave two hours ago. I really gotta stop carpooling with that guy." I clench and unclench my fists. As if I didn't have enough issues with my temper, Stan always needs to test my patience.

Ken laughs. "Yeah, that sounds like him. Need a ride home?"

I glance at my phone. I don't want to wait another half hour. "Yeah, thanks."

Kenny leads me to his car, which is a broken down and rusted old thing. It barely looks safe to drive. I'm not sure how much I want to get in, but I do. I already agreed to this after all.

As we start driving, I start to regret accepting the offer. Kenny's driving is erratic and unsafe. He does nothing but speed, he brakes too fast, and the car makes a weird, inconsistent buzzing sound. I'm not convinced I'm going to survive this. He swerves so much, and mountain roads in snow aren't a good place to practice reckless driving.

"Ken, you want to maybe slow down?" I ask cautiously.

"Nah," he says. "This is way more fun."

With that, he takes a fast and unnecessarily sharp turn, and I almost hit my head. I end up grabbing the door and holding on for dear life. He takes another turn and I'm thrown against the window.

"Jesus Christ, Ken!"

He just grins, almost giddy. Just as it feels like this car ride will never end, he brakes suddenly and slows to a reasonable speed. I notice that we're in downtown South Park.

"Want to grab some food? I'm pretty hungry," Ken asks, not looking at the road even a little. He seems to be searching for a place to eat.

"Sure," I say. "If I can stomach it."

He laughs. "You're such a wimp. I was _barely _speeding."

I scoff, but don't comment further. We end up hanging out at the shitty diner, the only place it seems like Kenny can afford, for a while. I get three texts from Stan.

_where are you man? I'm in the parking lot. _

_dude, I've been waiting ten minutes- are you even here?_

_I'm leaving in five minutes, if you still need a ride_

I don't respond to any of them.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- This feels like a lighter story than the others I'm writing right now, which is nice. Let me know what you think.

* * *

I wake up, groggy and annoyed, to my phone buzzing on my bedside table. I rub my eyes and roll over, trying to ignore it. I hate the alarm sound my phone makes, so I tried just putting it on vibrate. It's really not that much better, but I still have to wake up.

I reach over to my phone slowly, my arm still feeling heavy from sleep. As I stop the alarm, I notice that I have three texts, two from Stan.

_dude, you're obviously pissed, I'm sorry_

_are we still carpooling today, or are you ignoring me?_

And one from Kenny.

_want a ride to school today?_

I decide to ignore the ones from Stan for now. When I see him at school, he'll apologize, and I'll forgive him because I always do. But for now, I feel entitled to a little more anger. I know the silent treatment is immature, but it's really the only way I can stay mad at him. The second we talk, it becomes harder. I do decide to answer Kenny's text though.

_In your death trap of a car? With your ridiculous driving skills? Not a chance. You're welcome to join me in my car though. _

As I'm getting ready, my phone buzzes again.

_such a wimp. sure, pick me up whenever _

I feel kind of bad about leaving Stan hanging like this. He's probably going to be pretty annoyed at me later. This is usually what happens when we get in any sort of fight. One of us does something inconsiderate, and the other one tries their hardest to be an equal level of douchebag. It pretty much ends up with us being mildly annoyed with each other for a little while. It never lasts long.

In any case, it gives me a chance to hang out a little more with Kenny. I just don't get to very often, so that's nice. It's just a perk that it'll annoy Stan even more, that I chosen someone else over him for once. Maybe he'll get what it feels like.

I get to Kenny's place to pick him up just with enough time to get to school. I text him that I'm outside, and five minutes later, he stumbles out the door, still tying his shoes and zipping his hoodie. I hear him say shit and run back inside. This happens two more times.

He runs to my car, flushed and panting. "Why the fuck are you here so early?" he breathes, collapsing into the passenger seat.

I just laugh. "Because I'm going to drive like a sane person."

He looks at me with this pathetic, crestfallen expression. When I start driving, he starts fidgeting. "Oh my god!" he groans. "How can you stand going this slow? I could run faster than this!"

He's so restless, leaning into the window, moving around in his seat, craning his neck to look around. I chuckle. "I think you need to calm down a little."

"How can I, we're going the pace of a snail!" he whines back, turning to me.

I smirk at him. "Come on, Ken, you need to slow down. Stop and smell the flowers every once in a while."

He shot me a glare. "You're going to make us late to school."

I laugh. "No, that was you. You _said _pick you up whenever."

"Obviously, what I meant was pick me up as late as possible. You should've known that," he says in a fake condescending tone.

"Oh, yeah, how could I not know that?" I reply sarcastically. "It's not like you disappeared for two months and I barely see you anyway!"

He shrugs, a half-smile playing on his lips. "You still know I'm not a morning person."

I roll my eyes. "That's an understatement."

He shot me another glare and went back to fidgeting and squirming. "I can't handle this speed, man, come on. You drive like an old lady."

"You're the one who agreed to this," I reply. "What did you expect?"

"For you to drive like a normal human maybe?" he sighed loudly and pointed at the speedometer. "Holy shit, man, you're driving _under _the speed limit. Literally no one does that. It's _standard _to drive five miles over."

I laugh and glance at him. "I'm pretty sure that's not _literally _true."

He rolls his eyes. "Figuratively, whatever."

We pull up to the school and he practically jumps out of the car. I chuckle to myself and slide out. "You have no patience," I say to him.

"Shut up, dude, we're late," he replies.

"I assume you'll need a ride home?"

He groans. "Yeah, yeah. Drive faster, though."

"No," I reply. "Meet me out here after school."

We say goodbye and both run the class. I practically fall into Biology class, muttering an apology to the teacher. I slink to the back of the class, to my usual desk next to Stan, who is giving me a look.

"Hey, Ky. Are we talking again yet?" he says, raising an eyebrow.

I glance at him. "I guess. You did make me wait two hours in the snow, though."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," he says, though it doesn't feel like a real apology to me. It seems like he just feels like he has to say that. "Dude, what happened this morning? Why are you late?"

I shrug. "I was giving Kenny a ride to school. He made me late."

"Kenny's back?" Stan asks, suddenly a lot more interest.

I sigh. "Yeah," I reply sharply, glaring at him. "He gave me a ride home yesterday."

Stan flinches a little at my tone and turns back to the teacher, clearly done talking to me. Which is fine, I'm still pretty mad at him, obviously.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- I'm really enjoying writing this. I hope you enjoy reading it just as much.

* * *

At lunch, I follow Stan into the cafeteria and we sit at our usual table. Cartman and Butters aren't here yet. As Stan pulls out his lunch, he looks hesitantly at me. "I _am _sorry about yesterday," he says, his voice quiet. "I really didn't mean to stay with Wendy that late."

I just shrug. "It's cool, man, don't worry about it."

"It's just that we just got back together and things were going so well. I got caught up in the moment," he adds quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. He does look genuinely apologetic, so at least there's that. He often seems a little dismissive of my complaints, or he just insists that there isn't really a problem at all.

I laugh a little. "Dude, it's fine, really."

He nods, still looking a bit uncertain. I smile and pat him on shoulder as reassurance, but then I get distracted.

Kenny and Craig tumble into the cafeteria, seemingly pushed in by Clyde, all laughing and smiling. Tweek trails in after them, looking wired and a little annoyed. Kenny is talking to Craig so animatedly, and Craig seems to be rolling his eyes, but grinning. I'm a little caught up in watching them. It's weird to see things from the outside, and being so aware that you are on the outside. I don't know what's so funny, but I want to. I suddenly feel left out, which is weird since I've never hung out with them anyway.

Then Kenny glances over and catches my gaze. I look away as quickly as I can, feeling my cheeks redden and get hot. I feel like I was caught doing something wrong, for some reason. All I was doing was looking over there. It's not like I was staring at them, he just looked over at the wrong moment, right?

I glance back over there to check if he's still looking at me. He's saying something to Craig, and then starts walking toward me as Craig and Clyde go toward another table. I look away quickly again. I don't know why I'm so embarrassed about him seeing me looking at him.

Kenny just comes over and sits down next to me, as though this is normal. "So I was thinking," he says. "What if I drove your car?"

I laugh and look at him, a little confused. On the bright side, I feel less embarrassed now. "Not a chance in hell, dude. There's no way I'd trust you with my car."

He puts his arms up. "Just hear me out, okay? I have some pretty compelling arguments."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I'll bite. What are they?"

He hesitates for a moment and then points at me. "You drive like an aging hippie on tranquilizers. And it's unbearable."

I just stare at him for a moment. "Yeah, that's not good enough. I'm not trusting the most valuable thing I own with someone who seems to have a death wish. _You _drive like an eight year old on angel dust."

"Fine," he replies with an overdramatic sigh. "I guess I'll just have to suffer again." He drops the faked sadness on his face, replacing it with a smirk. Then he winks at me and ruffles my hair. "See you after school."

I watch, confused, as he walks away. I pat my hair back in place and frown a little. When I turn back to Stan, he's staring at me. "What?" I say, a little defensive.

"That was weird," he says. "When did you and Kenny become best friends?"

I laugh. "You know how Kenny is. Everyone is his best friend."

Stan shrugs. "Whatever."

Just then, Cartman and Butters came over and sat down across from us. They'd gotten pretty close over the years. Sometimes it seemed like they were always together. It used to be that Butters would just follow Cartman around like a puppy, but now it seemed more mutual.

The rest of lunch goes the way it always does: Cartman is a douche, Butters is a pushover, and Stan has more patience for it than me. By the time the day is over, I'm exhausted.

I walk out to my car, and Kenny is already there. He sees me and gives me a grin so animated that I get even more tired. How he always manages to stay so energetic is beyond me.

"Hey, Kyle! Did you give any more thought to my idea?" he asks. "Because I think it's worth revisiting."

"The answer is and always will be no," I reply, shooting him a glare.

"Alright, alright," he whines. "Will you at least drive the speed limit?"

I smirk and shrug. "I might," I say. "Don't hold your breath."

He gives me the same pathetic look he did this morning. The drive goes about the same as it did this morning, with Kenny restless and squirming. Every other sentence out of his mouth was a complaint, but I was amused enough that I didn't care. It's hilarious to watch him freak out like this.

"Has Tweek been rubbing off on you, dude?" I laugh as I pull up next to his house.

He glares at me. "No sane person would be able to deal with that speed."

"Are you trying to claim that you're sane?" I reply, raising an eyebrow at him. "That's cute."

He punches me in the arm. "Laugh it up while you can, Broflovski. But tomorrow, I'm driving, and you'll just have to deal with my speed," he says with a smirk. He jumped out of the car, and blew me a kiss. "Bye, sweetie! See you tomorrow!" He used an overly enthusiastic voice and waved happily.

I shake my head as I drive away. I don't understand that guy. I really don't. But I guess we're taking turns driving each other to school now. There's really no way to argue with Kenny.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- Thanks for reviewing, guys. The next chapter should be up in the next couple days.

* * *

The next couple weeks go by pretty quickly. Kenny and I take turns driving each other to and from school. God knows why, because we both hate it when the other drives. Every time I drive, he's whining and squirming. Every time he drives, I'm panicking and clinging to the door. The solution to this would be to stop carpooling together, but for some reason, neither of us have mentioned that as an option. The only options we ever mention are that the other alters his driving method.

I would suggest we just stop driving together, but it's the only time I get to hang out with Kenny. At school, I'm with Stan, Cartman, and Butters. He's with Craig, Clyde, and Tweek. I like hanging out with him too much. I guess I'm willing to put up with his whining and his erratic driving for the chance to spend more time with him.

I guess I've missed him over the years. I hadn't really realized how much until I got to hang out with him regularly again. It makes me sad that we missed out on all that time. With Stan still caught up in his relationship, Kenny feels like my best friend.

It's his turn to drive today. He pulls up to my house a little earlier than usual, which is surprising. Kenny's never early to anything.

I hurry to get my stuff together and run outside to meet him. He's sitting in the car, hanging out the window and grinning at me. "Sure took your time, didn't you?" he says. "You're gonna make us late."

I scowl at him, but I'm smiling. "You're the one who was five minutes early, asshole."

"You're upset that I'm _early_?" he replies, touching his hand to his chest in fake shock. "What a refreshing change of pace."

"Just drive, you jerk," I say back to him, half laughing.

"And you're encouraging me to drive instead of telling me to stop! What a strange day we're having!" he says dramatically, raising his hands to the sky. Then he smirks at me and starts to drive, but at a reasonable speed.

"Dude, what are you doing?" I say, looking around at the car, as though I might find something on it that's causing it to go barely above the speed limit.

"Whatever do you mean, my dear Kyle?" he replies, feigning confusion and innocence.

"Your driving," I say, staring at him. "It doesn't make me feel like we're about to die. I don't understand."

"What, are you complaining?" he says, raising an eyebrow at me and smirking.

"No!" I reply quickly, shaking my head. "Not complaining at all!"

He smiles and looks back at the road. "I just figured if I wanted to keep driving with you, I might have to alter my driving. You know, before you decide you've had enough of almost dying every morning."

My expression softens. It's nice that he's doing this because he likes driving with me. I feel warm all of sudden, and I think I might be blushing. I hope not. "I wasn't planning on ending this arrangement we have, you know," I say, smiling at him. I notice an immediate change in his expression. For a second, it looks like he's a little embarrassed, maybe flattered.

Then his face changes again, and he has this huge, wild grin. "Oh, good! Then there's nothing for me to worry about!" And with that, he seems to slam on the accelerator.

I'm pressed back into my seat, gripping the handle on the door so hard that my knuckles turn white. "I take it back!" I say, a little desperately.

He just shakes his head, his blue eyes glinting mischievously. "You can't take it back, the words are out there now. Floating in the air. Causing me to drive like this."

I don't know what to say, so I just make a whining noise of desperation.

He glances at me and smiles. "Okay, fine," he says, feigning annoyance, slowing back down. I let out a sigh of relief. Then he points at me dramatically. "But I'm only going to do this for you."

"Keep both hands on the wheel!" I practically yelp.

He just laughs as he turns back to the road. "Man, you _really _don't trust my driving."

"That's an understatement," I grumble, crossing my arms. But I'm smiling and I can't seem to stop. He said he's only doing this for me.

We pull up to the school and say goodbye, heading to our respective classes, and I'm still smiling about it.

* * *

At lunch that day, I find myself looking around for Kenny. Cartman, Butters and Stan are all busy talking, but I'm paying no attention. I can't find Kenny at first, but then he walks into the cafeteria, arm around Craig laughing loudly. Craig looks unamused.

I find myself staring at them, a weird feeling in my chest. I feel jealous, really, watching them. Jealous of Craig and how much Kenny likes him. I said earlier that it felt like he's my best friend, but he so obviously doesn't feel the same way. I find myself resenting Craig.

When I turn back to the table, everyone is staring at me. I feel my face get hot. "What?" I say defensively, crossing my arms.

"Dude, you were totally spacing out," Stan says, sounding a little concerned.

"Yeah, while checking out Kenny's ass!" Cartman adds, laughing. "What, are you a fag now?"

Butters turns a little bit red and gives Cartman a disapproving glare, but Cartman waves him off.

"Shut the fuck up, dude," I reply, throwing a fry at Cartman. I glance back over at Kenny and he's sitting and talking animatedly with Craig and Clyde and Tweek. I suddenly feel a little bit lonely, but I push it away and avoid looking at him for the rest of lunch.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- Sorry for the kind of short chapter. Next one should be better. Review, please. I love hearing what you guys have to say.

* * *

After school, I wait in the parking lot for Kenny. His last class sometimes go over, so I just sit down on a stump. I'm a little lost in thought when I notice someone standing next to me. I get up quickly, a little surprised.

"Hey, Kyle," Stan says, shoulders hunched, looking dejected.

"Hey, man. You okay?" I reply, putting a hand on his shoulder. I know that he's not okay, that's obvious. I'm about to ask if something happened with Wendy, when-

"It's Wendy," he sighs. I notice that his eyes a little puffy, as though he'd been crying.

"Did you guys break up?" I ask, trying really hard not to sound hopeful. It's not that I don't like Wendy, but… Well, no, I just don't like her.

He shakes his head. "No, we just got in a fight. It was a bad one, though. I don't know what to do."

"I'm sorry, man," I say, as sympathetically as I can. I used to get really annoyed with all his girl drama, but I've been trying more and more to not do that. I mean, he's upset either way, so there's no point in lecturing him anymore.

"Could you maybe come over? We could play video games or something," he asks, sniffing a little bit.

"Yeah, man, of course. I'll head over there later," I say. I know all he'll be doing is moping, but if it makes him feel better….

"Well, you don't have your car, right? Why don't you just drive with me?" Stan says, looking a little happier.

I shift my weight from one foot to the other. "Well, Kenny was going to drive me home…" I say, a little uncomfortable. It sounds kind of stupid as I say it, like it's not a good enough excuse. Like driving with Kenny means more to me than it should.

By the look on Stan's face, he agrees with that. "Dude, come on. Can't you just not go with him today?"

"Can't I just meet you at your house later? I'll drive over right after I get home," I reply. I don't really know why I'm completely ignoring the option of ditching Kenny.

"Are you serious? You can't cancel on him this once for me?" Stan looks a little angry, but mostly just hurt. "Since when do you care more about him than about me?"

I open my mouth to disagree, _of course I don't care about him more, come on, chill, _but nothing came out. I furrow my brow, confused. When _did _that happen? When did I start to rank Kenny over Stan in my priorities? I didn't even notice that change.

Stan glares at me. "Whatever, dude. Don't bother coming over. Have fun with your _boyfriend._"

"Real mature," I mutter as he storms to his car. Calling Kenny my boyfriend with that much disdain, who is he, Cartman? What a douchebag. He abandons me for his girlfriend _all the time_ and he gets bitchy when I ditch him for my friend. What a hypocritical asshole.

"What's up with him?" I hear behind me. I turn around and Kenny gestures toward Stan.

I shrug and smile at him. "The same thing that's always up with that guy. Girl drama."

Kenny inhales sharply and put his elbow on my shoulder as though it's an armrest. "Some things never change." Then he smiles at me, with such warmth I start to blush. "So shall we?"

"Yeah, let's go," I say, and I have to stop myself from stumbling over the words. I don't know why I'm suddenly nervous around him. My shoulder is practically burning, so my guess is that it's that he's touching me. Though I don't know why that would be it.

He ruffles his fingers through my hair before taking his arm away and walking to his car. I feel like I can breathe better now.

In the car, I brace myself for the speed and sharp turns, but he drives normally, like he did this morning. It's no worse than Stan's driving, or Cartman's. Though Cartman's driving is unpleasant simply because it's being in a trapped vehicle with Cartman.

"Your driving. It's bearable," I say, grinning.

"You flatter me," he replies. "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my driving, if you can believe that."

"I definitely can," I say with a laugh.

"Hey, don't be rude," he says. "If you're not careful, I'll go back to driving like the crazy person I am."

"I'm so sorry," I say quickly, making my voice sound over-the-top sincere. "I will never be so cruel again. Please, just spare me."

He laughs, his pretty blue eyes crinkling at the corners. I find myself thinking that he looks kind of beautiful. In a super platonic way, of course. "Alright, since you asked nicely."

There's a bit of a silence after that, and I have to focus on looking out the window or straight ahead so I don't find myself staring at Kenny again. God, what's wrong with me?

"Oh, hey, there's a party at Clyde's place this Friday. Want to come?" he asks suddenly turning to look at me.

"Keep your eyes on the road," I reply. "And yeah, sure, sounds fun."

His eyes noticeably brighten. "Great! Bring Stan, Cartman, and Butters if you want. Open invite."

I smile. I like that he's happy that I'm coming. I'm not sure how much I want to bring any of those three, really, but they'd be mad if I didn't. I'd really rather I just go. I want to spend time with Kenny, and I feel like if I bring my other friends, I'll just chicken out and stick around them. Maybe I'll be brave enough to hang out with Kenny despite Craig, Clyde, and Tweek anyway. We'll see, I guess.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story. Hope you like this chapter, please review. Next one should be soon.

* * *

We get to the party after everyone else is already there, it seems. Stan and I are on speaking terms, though he's still a little annoyed at me. I think he cares a lot less now that he and Wendy have resolved whatever fight they had. I've just been trying to just ignore it.

Token and Kevin are sitting on the porch, drunkenly laughing, as Stan, Butters, Cartman, and I walk up. Token vaguely points in the direction of the keg, and we immediately walk inside to go find it. Cartman is the one that finds cups and we fill them up quickly.

Cartman gags at the first sip. "This is the worst beer I've ever tasted," he says. He proceeds to chug the rest of it.

Stan lets out a surprised laugh. "So that's your first reaction?"

Cartman shrugs. "Now I can get to the real stuff." He looks around for maybe five seconds before he finds the bottle of rum. I swear, he's got some sort of sixth sense for hard alcohol.

Butters just stares into his red cup. "Geez, there's an awful lotta foam in here." He takes a hesitant sip and makes a face like he tasted something sour. "I'd much rather have a mixed drink. One that tastes like juice or something."

Cartman rolls his eyes. "Here," he says, taking the drink out of Butters' hand. Then he chugs the beer and starts rummaging around the kitchen like he lives here. He ends up finding vodka, sugar, and fruit juice and he makes something for Butters and hands it back to him. "Better?"

"Thanks, Eric!" Butters chirps, smiling and sipping. I'm a little concerned by how easy it seems to be to drink- Butters won't be able to keep track.

"Cheers," Cartman replies, a look of mischief on his face. It seems he thought of that, too. He casually sips on his rum like it doesn't burn going down.

I feel too sober for this, so I down my beer and get another one. Stan stares at me for a moment. "Feel like slowing down?" he says carefully. He looks into his mostly full cup and rubs his thumb on the condensation that wraps around it.

I grin and shake my head. "Nope. It's a party."

Stan laughs a little and raises one eyebrow. He looks like he's about to say something, but then Kenny bursts in the room, tumbling over, clearly wasted.

He throws his arm over my shoulder, half hanging onto me. He's grinning so wide that it looks like it hurts. "Kyle!" he says, his voice heavy with booze. "You came! Great to see you!"

Stan leans back against the wall and rolls his eyes. I try to ignore that and focus on Kenny. I have to partially hold him up. It's seeming more and more likely for him to just fall over. "Hey, Ken."

He giggles, leaning on me even more. I stumble backwards a little and chuckle. "You call me Ken a lot. It's funny."

"Oh yeah?" I say. "Why is that funny?"

Kenny laughs even more. "I dunno- hey, if I'm Ken, would that make you Barbie?"

I chuckle and help him sit down in one of the chairs. "Only if we were dating."

He grins and raises his eyebrows. "Are you making a suggestion?" he says.

I laugh and finish off my drink to grab another. I'm way too sober for this. "No, Kenny."

He shrugs, still smiling like a crazy person. He takes a long sip of whatever is in his cup. "Your loss, babe."

I chug my next beer and see Stan giving me a look. I try to send him a telepathic message of _dude, back off _but I'm not sure he gets it. He's just looking more and more like he's sulking in the corner. I just roll my eyes and turn to Cartman. He's watching Butters sway with a smirk on his face. "Cartman- want to make me one of those drinks?"

He turns to me. "How strong do you want it?"

I glance back at Kenny. "Uh, whatever you gave Butters."

"You got it," he says, grabbing my cup from me.

As he makes it, it vaguely occurs to me that we went straight to the kitchen when we got here and haven't left or said hi to anyone else. We kind of suck at going to parties, my friends and I. We'd do better just getting drunk with only the four of us. Cartman hands me back my drink and I take a long gulp.

"Thanks," I say.

"Don't get used to it," Cartman replies. "I'm not a goddamn waiter."

As I look back over to where Kenny is, I'm just in time to watch Stan stalk out of the room and go over to talk to Bebe. He shoots me back a brief angry look. He seems like he's in a prickly mood. Why'd he bother coming to this? Also, what's his problem?

Kenny pulls himself up with my arm. As he stands up, I realize how close we are. Our faces are maybe a couple inches apart. I also notice that he's about an inch taller than me. He usually has such bad posture that I've never realized that before. "I'm glad you came," he says softly, his eyes too close and too intense. I'm struck for a moment and I can barely move or breathe.

Then the moment is over, and Craig calls Kenny over to there other room. I take a deep breath and try to shake the goosebumps off my arms.

Cartman, Butters, and I continue hanging out in the kitchen for a while, drinking the mixed drinks and laughing more and more the drunker we get. I find my self wondering where Stan and Kenny went off to, but my mind is more focused on the conversations at hand.

Butters is a lightweight and it takes him two drinks to start slurring his words. At this point, I think he's had three drinks. "I don't go to parties enough," he says, giggling. "They're lots of fun."

Cartman chuckles. "Yeah, Butters, we should definitely get you drunk more often."

Butters leans over in his chair, his head almost on Cartman's shoulder but not quite. "I'm feeling awfully dizzy," he murmurs, smiling up at Cartman.

I get this weird feeling in my chest, like Butters is revealing more than he should, even though he hasn't really said much. I also start feeling like I'm intruding on something, but I'm a little too drunk to be too concerned with that.

Cartman ruffles Butters' blond hair. It's a quick gesture, and Cartman does it so casually I almost miss it. "Might want to slow down then," he says, and he starts to reach for Butters' drink.

Butters leans up suddenly and grabs the cup protectively, giggling. Cartman just shrugs. "Suit yourself," he says.

I lean back in my chair and close my eyes, the world spinning and muffled around me. I maybe doze off a little bit for a moment, because I feel like the chair and I are falling in to nothingness. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder and open my eyes. The world keeps spinning for a moment before I'm able to focus. Kenny's grinning face is staring right back at me.

"Oh good, you're not dead!" he chirps sitting in the seat next to me. Butters is now completely leaning on Cartman and it looks like he's asleep. Cartman shoots me an amused look. "How did you manage to fall asleep?" Kenny says, sipping on his beer.

"I wasn't asleep," I say, finishing my mixed drink.

"You were out for maybe fifteen minutes," Cartman replies, raising an eyebrow.

I look over at Butters, nestled into Cartman's shoulder. "What are you going to do with him?"

Cartman sighs and looks down at Butters. I swear I see some affection in his eyes, but I am drunk, so who knows. "I'll drive him back to my house when I sober up. He can just sleep on the couch or something."

"That's not very gentlemanly of you," Kenny replies. "Shouldn't you let him take the bed?"

Cartman shoots Kenny a glare. "Watch it, poor boy."

Kenny grins and puts up his hands in defeat. Just then, Craig comes into the room, almost falling, Tweek close behind him. He sits down directly in Kenny's lap without hesitation or warning.

"Hey, what's going on over here?" he asks, petting Kenny's hair. I don't know why, but my cheeks start feeling hot and I start feeling stupid. I'm not sure what's going on with me.

"You're hurting my knee," Kenny laughs, trying and failing to push Craig off of him.

"But you're so much comfier than a chair," Craig replies. He's grinning and his voice is so animated. It's surprising, considering his usual monotone and apparent apathy. I guess some people become really different when they're drunk.

"Get off, asshole," Kenny says, trying to shove Craig off. After a minute of trying, it works, but Craig drags him down, too. They both end end laughing hysterically on the kitchen floor.

"If you guys bleed on the floor, you're cleaning it up," Clyde calls from the other room. He probably heard to crash.

"I'm gonna have bruises tomorrow," Kenny says, getting up. He immediately falls again, but catches himself on the counter, laughing again. I find myself staring at him a little too much, so I turn quickly to Cartman.

"Could I get another drink?" I ask.

"Didn't I tell you I'm not a waiter, Jew boy? I can hand you the vodka, but I can't reach the juice," he says, gesturing towards the blond boy sleeping on his shoulder. "I can't really _move_."

"Close enough," I say, reaching my hand forward as he hands me the vodka. I pour myself what I hope is the equivalent of a shot or two and down it.

As the party goes on, I keep drinking, though more slowly. Tweek and Craig pass out on the kitchen floor pretty quickly. I still haven't gone to the living room, so I have no idea who's still here. It seems like there's a good amount of people left, because the music's still pounding.

Cartman glances at his watch and announces that it's three thirty in the morning, and I have no idea how it got that late. "I'm okay to drive now," he says after standing up to check. He picks up Butters pretty easily- unsurprising, because Butters is tiny- and then looks at Kenny and me. "Do you guys want rides home?"

I nod, and Kenny does too. As we walk to the car, I feel how wasted I am and curse myself for having those last few drinks. It's always the last few that's the problem.

In the car, I fall asleep. I'm not sure how quickly, but pretty quickly. I am completely out until I hear voices around me, though they sound a bit like I'm underwater.

"Dude, is he completely out?" Cartman says, sounding a little annoyed.

"Yeah," Kenny replies. "As out as Butters, really."

I feel like I'm dreaming, but I'm really not sure. Cartman sighs. "Well, can you wake him up? Damn Jew, making all this harder."

"Listen, I'll just carry him inside and sleep on his floor or something. Make sure he's okay, you know?" Kenny replies softly.

"Whatever, one less stop to make."

I start to fall completely asleep again when I feel arms pull me gently un and out of the car. Kenny and Cratman exchange goodbyes, and I black out again.

I don't wake back up until I feel someone laying me down onto my bed. My eyes flutter open to see Kenny's face inches away from mine.

"Kenny?" I mumble, frowning. I feel confused, since I was pretty sure I was dreaming all that.

He chuckles softly. "Go back to sleep, Ky."

I stare at him for a moment, my arm still around his shoulder from when he was carrying me. I find my eyes glued to his lips, and I don't understand why. Until I lean up and kiss him, without even thinking about it.

Then I pull away, murmur a thank you for taking me home, and fall asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N- I haven't quite started the next chapter, so I don't know when it'll be up. Review, please, I love hearing what you think.

* * *

I wake up to the sun peeking through my blinds, my head pounding. I roll over and press my face into the pillow. I feel awful. I feel like I'm dying. I want to go back to sleep immediately. Last night was a terrible idea. I'm never drinking or going to a party or leaving this bed ever, ever again.

In the midst of my self pity, I start thinking about last night. I went to a party and never left the kitchen or my friends. Which makes me a pretty worthless party guest. I remember Stan leaving. Where did Stan go? Did I see him for the rest of the night? I don't think so.

I frowned into my pillow. How did I get home, then? Wasn't Stan the one who drove me to the party? I don't remember opening my front door or walking up the stairs or taking off my shoes or getting in bed.

Oh. That's because I didn't. Kenny carried me.

I shot up, eyes wide. I kissed him. I kissed Kenny. Who would I do that?

I look wildly around the room. I'm alone here. I almost expected to see Kenny sleeping on the floor, since he told Cartman he was going to do that, but he's not there.

Oh, God. Fuck. I bury my face in my hands. He probably left because I freaked him out. He probably didn't want to stay after that.

Why the hell would I kiss him? What came over me?

You know what, I was drunk. I probably just did it as a thank you, didn't think about it. Yeah, that must've been it. Why else would I have done that?

The world feels like it's spinning around me. Ugh. I feel sick, and I'm not sure if it's because of how drunk I was last night or how stupid and worthless I feel right now. I'm such an idiot. Drinking that much was stupid. Passing out in the car was stupid. Kissing Kenny was stupid. Seriously, what's wrong with me?

I lie back down and hope I can fall back asleep. My mind is going over what happened last night over and over and over again. I can't seem to stop myself from fixating on it and calming down. Eventually I manage to fall asleep, though I have no idea how.

I think I dream that Kenny is in my room. I think I dream that he brushes my hair out of my eyes with his fingertips and kisses my forehead. I'm not sure though, because I wake up and it's dark outside and I'm disoriented.

The rest of the weekend, I'm just recovering from the hangover. I spend most of my time in bed, on my laptop, or drinking coffee. I periodically check my phone, but I get no messages. Not from Stan, not from Kenny, not from anyone. I don't send any either, though.

Come Monday morning, it's Kenny's turn to drive. I haven't texted him and he hasn't texted me, so I's just standing outside, hoping he comes. If he is coming, he's seven minutes late. He's probably avoiding me after what happened after the party. I don't blame him. I'd avoid me, too. In fact, I really kind of want to avoid _him, _and he didn't even do anything wrong. I'm the one who made things weird.

I check my watch. Ten minutes late. I'll give him another five and if he's not here I'll just drive myself. Really, I should text him or call him and just ask him where he is. But I feel too awkward. I feel too ashamed. I mean, really, what am I supposed to say? "Sorry I kissed you, drunken accident, so when are you picking me up?" It sounds too ridiculous. I really just want to ignore it, but I don't know how to act normal.

I check my watch again. It's been five minutes. Maybe I'll just give him another few, just in case. People oversleep sometimes. Or maybe he's forgotten that it's his turn and is waiting for me outside of _his _house.

"Fuck," I say out loud when I look at the time. I'm going to be late. I run to my car and drive faster than usual to get to school. I'm still five minutes late for class, but if I run, it shouldn't be a big deal. I'm rarely ever late, so the teacher will probably cut me some slack.

I walk into the lunch room and immediately look around for Kenny. I see Craig, Tweek, and Clyde sitting at their usual table, but no Kenny. Well, at least he's not just avoiding me, I guess.

I sit down next to Stan and he mutters a greeting. I guess he's still mad at me, though I still don't really know why.

Cartman leans forward on the table. "Hey, so it turns out Jews can't handle their liquor," he says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes. "Another stereotype you've invented?"

He shakes his head and points at me with conviction. "I will have you know that my experiments are based in science, my good man. You are my proof."

I glare at him a little, but I can't find enough energy to argue. "Whatever, man. I'm not in the mood."

Stan glances at me, looking suddenly interested. "How's Kenny?" he asks suddenly.

I clench my jaw a little. Stan can kind of be a dick sometimes. "Haven't seen him today," I reply, trying to sound casual. I don't know what Stan's issue with Kenny is, but I really don't want to deal with it right now. Or ever.

"Ah!" Cartman says, leaning back. "That must be why you're in no mood to hear my theories! You miss your boyfriend. Tell me, Kyle, did you two make sweet love after the party? Are you an official fag now?"

Very abruptly, Butters stands up. I barely registered that he was sitting at the table, too, since he hadn't said a word or made a sound. He glares at Cartman so viciously that I barely believe that it's Butters standing there. Instead, I'm sure it must be some other blond kid that looks just like him.

He looks like he's about to say something, with his mouth slightly open and his bottom lip quivering. Cartman just looks startled, wide brown eyes full of confusion. The moment drags on for minute, Butters getting more and more red. Then he just turns sharply and walks away.

"Well, that was weird," Stan says, chuckling a little. I almost wince. Stan has never been great at reading the mood and acting accordingly.

Cartman shoots him a glare. "Shut the fuck up, Stan," he mumbles, getting up quickly and walking after Butters.

Stan looks over at me, seeming too surprised to keep up giving me the cold shoulder. "What's going on with them?"

I shrug. "No idea."

We spend the rest of lunch talking and hanging out as though we haven't been arguing and ignoring each other for the past week. He doesn't mention the party, or where he went, or why he stalked off in a bad mood. I don't ask. He also doesn't mention Wendy or Kenny, which I appreciate.

Right as lunch is ending, I tell him to go ahead without me, I'll meet him in class. And I walk over to Craig and Tweek and Clyde,

"Hey, Kyle," Craig says, one eyebrow raised, no sign of the energetic and animated guy I saw at the party.

"Hey, dude. Um, have you seen Kenny around?" I ask hesitantly. I really don't want to appear too interested, because if he tells Kenny I asked, I don't want to seem clingy. Especially after I kissed him.

"Not since the party," Craig says with a shrug. I notice that Clyde looks a little amused that I'm asking them, and I try to brush it off.

"Really? You haven't heard from him or anything?" I reply, getting a little anxious.

Craig sighs as he stands up. "No. Kyle, you know how he is. He disappears sometimes." He pats me once on the shoulder. "You signed up for this."

They all three walk away, and I'm left standing in the cafeteria, feeling strangely like my insides are collapsing. I know Kenny disappears sometimes. Of course I know. I just never realized I'd be this upset about it. It's never happened before, but now I miss him.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Hey, guys, hope you like this chapter. I've been having a bit of trouble writing lately, but hopefully, it'll go away. Anyway, review, let me know what you think.

* * *

The rest of the week comes and goes by slowly. The weekend passes, and still no sign of Kenny. I've just been getting more and more anxious. I mean, Kenny has gone missing for far more than two weeks before. The last time, he was gone for two months. So I'm not sure what I'm freaking out about. But I look for him everywhere I go, like he'll just suddenly be there. I keep ending up imagine horrible, unrealistic things that could've happened. And I just have to tell myself every time, it's only been two weeks, I know he's fine. He's _always_ fine.

By the time this Friday comes, I'm still worried about him, but I'm also kind of pissed. I know it's unreasonable, because he never even tells Craig where he's going, but I just find myself getting kind of mad at Kenny for disappearing without telling me. I mean, I waited for him Monday morning, and he didn't tell me he wasn't coming. That just seems inconsiderate.

Stan offered to drive me, so we've been carpooling again this week. His car feels safer, as does his driving. And he never complains about my driving, so that's nice. All in all, it's probably a more pleasant arrangement than driving with Kenny all the time. And logically, I recognize this. But I still miss driving with Kenny.

And Stan is usually late, like today, which is one of my pet peeves. I mean, we start class at the same time every day. You'd think he'd have gotten the hang of it at this point, but no, he continues to be at least five minutes late every day.

I sigh loudly as I check my watch. Eight minutes late. I'm going to need to run to class. I hate doing that.

He pulls up with an apologetic look on his face, mouthing the word _sorry. _

I roll my eyes as I get in. "I hate you sometimes."

"I'm sorry!" he says with a smile. "I do have a good reason this time."

"Oh, yeah?" I raise an eyebrow at him. He _always _has a good reason. "What is it this time?"

He hesitates for a moment. "Would you believe me if I said that my alarm clock is broken?"

"Maybe," I say thoughtfully with a shrug. "If you hadn't used that twice already."

"Damn," he says. Then he looks at me and grins. "Okay, I slept through my alarm. But guess what?"

I sigh. "What?"

"Wow, tone down the enthusiasm," he replies, shooting me a glare. He quickly goes back to being cheerful, though. "Wendy and I talked about it last night, and she's applying to Boulder! We might go to the same college!"

I glance at him uncertainly. "Is that really a good idea?"

"Hey, don't ruin this for me. Our relationship is going great."

I snort. "Yeah, this week."

He grips the steering wheel and his knuckles turn white and glares at me a little. "Back off, dude." Then he glances at me with a weird look in his eye. "Have you heard from Kenny yet?"

"No," I say, and I can hear the lack of patience in my voice. I doubt that Stan can, though.

He just shakes his head. "I don't get it. I mean, I know last time he disappeared it because of what happened with him and Craig, but why this time?"

"Him and Craig?" I ask, suddenly a lot more interested in and a loss less annoyed about this conversation.

Stan looks over at me, and I'm pretty sure I can see some smugness in his face. Jerk. "Yeah, him and Craig. Kenny disappeared for two months because they broke up."

"Wait, what?" I say, turning my whole body in the seat to face Stan. "Broke up? They were dating?"

"Yeah, you didn't know?" Shut up, Stan, I obviously didn't know, or I wouldn't be _asking. _"They were dating on and off for a while. I could never quite tell the difference between when they were on and when they were off, since they acted the same around other people. I was pretty sure they'd broken up for good this time."

"Why is this the first I'm hearing about it?" I reply. I feel really weird, half jealous of Craig ad half really interested in the possibility that Kenny is gay. For some reason.

Stan shrugs and smirks a little. "I don't know, you didn't used to be so interested in Kenny's love life, I guess."

"Still, you'd think I would've heard people talking about it or something," I reply, glancing out the window.

"I'm not sure how many people knew or cared, really," Stan says. And I guess that makes sense, I'm sure a lot of people didn't care to begin with or got tired of caring when they became so on and off. I'm really not sure why I care at all. Why should I care who Kenny does and doesn't date and whether or not those people are male?

As we pull up to the school, we're not quite as late as I thought we would be. I don't quite have to run to class and I get there just in time. The morning goes by pretty slowly, and by the time lunch rolls around, I'm exhausted.

Yawning, I walk in to the cafeteria and sit down at my usual table. Butters isn't there yet, and Cartman looks like he's sulking.

Stan sighs in annoyance when I sit down. "Well, aren't you both rays of sunshine. Maybe I should go sit with Wendy."

Cartman shoots him a vicious glare. "Fuck off, Stan."

Cartman has been acting weird these past two weeks. So has Butters, come to think of it. Butters is only around half the time, it seems. The rest of the time, he's not even in the cafeteria for lunch. And Cartman is in a perpetual bad mood. He's stormed off for the tiniest reasons more than once.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Stan replies. Stan is usually patient and level-headed, but I think Cartman's hostility has been getting on his nerves the past couple days. He seems a lot less willing to put up with it.

Cartman just glares at Stan again, though this time it's more half-hearted. Then he just gets up, leaves his food, and walks toward the door. Stan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Butters walks in the cafeteria right as Cartman is walking out and they almost run right into each other. They both stop for a moment, and then Butters starts walking again. Cartman grabs his arm and says something to him.

Butters just yanks his arm away and walks quickly away from Cartman. I'm a little surprised. This might be the most assertive I've ever seen Butters be. Cartman stands by the door for a moment before leaving, his shoulders hunched over.

The rest of the day passes just as slowly as the morning, and I'm almost falling asleep in class by the end of it. I walk out to the parking lot to see Kenny. Clyde and Kenny are laughing and smoking, Craig is rolling his eyes, and Tweek is just leaning away from the smoke.

I'm so tired that I'm just confused for a few moments before I register what's going on. Kenny is just casually smoking a cigarette in the parking lot as though he never left. I guess this is always how he comes back. I just never really realized how weird it was.

He glances over and we make eye contact for a second. I don't know what to do, I just panic and pretend I didn't see him. It doesn't work though, because he walks over to me. "Hey, man, need a ride home?" he says, smiling at me. His tone is casual, like no time has passed. Like I didn't kiss him when I was drunk. Like this isn't really, really awkward. And maybe it isn't for him.

I'm a little taken aback by how normal he seems, and it takes me a moment to respond. "Uh, Stan is driving me home."

"Okay!" Kenny says, downright cheerful. "I'll pick you up tomorrow, though, yeah? I think it's my turn."

I just stare at him for a moment. "Um, okay," I say, because I don't know how else to respond.

"Great, see you tomorrow!" he replies. Then he ruffles my hair and almost skips back over to his friends. I just stand there baffled for a minute before heading to Stan's car.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N- Sorry it's kind of been a while. I'll try to be better about updating. Hope you guys like this chapter- let me know what you think.

* * *

I stand outside my house early that morning, heart pounding. I'm practically panicking here, waiting for my friend to come pick me up for school. My _friend. _I guess. who I haven't seen in two weeks, who acted like nothing was wrong, who I fucking kissed. I'm going to have to agonize about this by myself while he calmly skips around, pretending he was never gone.

I watch his car turn around the corner and my heart pounds even harder. I pull out my phone quickly and pretend to be texting. I can't explain why, I guess I just want to pretend like I didn't see him. Maybe I don't want to see him at all. I'm scared to face him. I don't know if I can act as normal and nonchalant as he can. In fact, I know I can't.

I am painfully aware as his car pulls up but all I can do is continue staring at my phone. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to look him in the eyes anymore.

"Hey, Ky!" he chirps, closing the door to the car.

I almost jump, because I was so focused on pretending like I didn't see him. _Calm down. Deep breaths. _I try to smile. I don't know if it works. "Hey, Ken," I say, trying to sound cheerful. My voice cracks and I just hope he doesn't notice. I also hope he doesn't notice my shaking hands or the fact that my face is heating up and probably turning pink.

He throws his arm over my shoulders and I nearly fall over, either because he's suddenly half leaning on me or because I'm short of breath, I'm not sure. "Well, don't just stand there avoid eye contact, love. We're going to be late!"

Then he slides his fingers into mine and half drags me to the car. I have no idea what to do or how to react, so I just go with it.

He reminds me of characters in books and movies. He reminds me of the smiling, smirking character who no one can really wrap their heads around. I never really thought that people like that existed in real life, and maybe they don't. Maybe this is some sort of act he puts on and that why he disappears for weeks at a time. Because he needs to recharge his energy, and he can't do it in front of others or he'd ruin the illusion.

Then it hits me that Kenny is holding my hand and he called me love and I remember what Stan said the other day and I start feeling really, really dizzy. I stumble forward and he catches me before I fall.

He chuckles and grins at me. "Don't hurt yourself, Ky."

Suddenly, I can't handle it. I get mad and my skin begins to crawl. I straighten up, pull myself away from him, and I can feel myself getting cold. "I'm fine," I say sharply. I brush my arms off even though there's nothing there and walk quickly to the car. I slam the door after me, just barely missing my fingers. Which could have been bad.

Kenny just scampers over and bounces into the driver's seat. He starts the car and heads toward school, driving carefully, almost as slowly as I drive. "So I've been thinking, right? If Lucy had a healing potion, then their side in the war has no casualties, you know? Lucy can just go around and heal everyone at the end and then the other side is completely devastated, but the good guys are fine. So why was anyone worried in the first place? Didn't they realize that they weren't risking anything?"

The anger is gone, and I simply stare at him. I don't say anything for a few moments as I try to process what he said. I'm sure I heard it all right, but I really have no idea how any of those words make sense together. "What are you talking about?" I finally say.

He frowns and glances over at me. "Chronicles of Narnia. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?"

I blink and continue to stare at him. "Right. How could I not have realized that?" I reply dryly.

"Well, I'm just saying, I can't get past the plot holes, you know? It's like how in Harry Potter, they have the time turner thing, right? Couldn't that just solve all the problems they had?"

I roll my eyes. "Hermione _says _that bad things happen to wizards who meddle with time. Time travel in general can mess up the present."

He turns to me and grins. "What would I do without you?" he says. Affection makes its way into his voice and I can feel my ears getting hot. Then he turns back to the road. "See, I never actually saw the Harry Potter movies. Or read the books."

"How could you be annoyed with plot holes for something you didn't even see or read?" I say, raising an eyebrow at him.

He shrugs. "I never read or saw the Chronicles of Narnia either." He glances at me and grins again. "I guess I'm just always looking for something to be angry about to feed my wrath."

I scoff at him, but don't say anything.

"What?" he says, his voice creeping to a whine.

"I just wouldn't call you _wrathful._" I chuckle a little and he frowns at me.

"Hey, I'm an extremely angry person. Maybe you've just never noticed."

"You?" I laugh again and smile at him. "You're more like an overgrown puppy."

He shakes his head vigorously. "No. Not a puppy."

"You run around smiling and jumping on people. Yeah, you're a puppy."

"I don't jump on people!"

"Right, you practically _climb _on people. Maybe you're more like a squirrel."

"I don't-" he starts. Then he pauses and tilts his head to one side. It makes him look more like a puppy than ever, which is kind of adorable. He rubs the back of his neck and lets out an uneasy chuckle. "Okay, _maybe _I sometimes jump on people. Or climb them, whatever. But that doesn't mean I'm not full of fury and anger."

I just shake me head. "Puppies don't get angry. Excited, yes. Confused, yes. Angry, no."

He stares straight ahead with a small smile. "I just haven't been mad at _you_, Ky."

I catch myself staring at the corner of his mouth and the beginning of a dimple in his cheek. I look away quickly and shake my head again. "I can't picture you mad."

I find myself forgetting how mad I was at him. It seems like this is what happens with Kenny. He makes it so hard to hold on to anger. He's just so animated and talkative. He distracts people. Maybe that's how he always gets away with disappearing. I wonder how Craig dealt with it when they were dating.

I don't really want to just let it go and act like this is normal though. I turn to look at him and his eyes look a little glazed over, like he's lost in thought. "So where have you been for the past two weeks?" I say suddenly, and he almost jumps.

He laughs a little and smiles. I notice that he doesn't look at me. "On the subject of plot holes," he jokes.

I glare, but it doesn't matter because he's staring straight ahead. "I waited for you, you know. That Monday morning. You could've told me that you weren't coming."

"Announcing that you're going to disappear kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think?" There's an edge in his voice, and I'm about to respond when he pulls into a parking place and leaps from the car. I didn't even notice we'd gotten to school.

I get out, and he's already walking up the steps, his fist clenched around the strap of his backpack. I grab my stuff and head to class. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Maybe this is why no one ever questions it. Because he runs away in a huff, all prickly. He's good at running away.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N- Hey, guys. Here's the new chapter, I hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the reviews.

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I can barely concentrate in class. He's all I think about. My heart is pounding all day- I feel like my heart rate and blood pressure are dangerously high. Is he going to mention the kiss? Where does he go when he disappears? Why did he get so mad, so defensive, when I asked?

On my way to the cafeteria, I'm paying no attention to where I'm going. I'm just checking and rechecking my phone and spacing out. I don't know why Kenny is occupying all the space in my mind right now, but it's a problem. As a result of how distracted I am, I almost run right into Craig while turning a corner. He stumbles backward and puts his hand on my shoulder just in time.

"Doing okay there, Broflovski?" he says in his regular monotone.

I chuckle softly. "Yeah, sorry," I reply. I rub the back of my beck and smile apologetically. "Just having an off day, I guess."

Craig pats my shoulder and raises an eyebrow. "Alright, man, take it easy."

He starts to walk away, but I stop him. "Wait, Craig-" I start.

He gives me a look and sighs. "What, man? I just want to get lunch."

"I, uh," I say softly. I frown a little and look down. I don't really know what I want from Craig. Reassurance, maybe. Answers, maybe. I'm not getting either from Kenny. "I just- I want to know how you deal with it."

"Deal with what?" he responds slowly.

"Kenny. The disappearing, not knowing where he went, him refusing to answer any questions… I just want to know how you manage it," I say. I try to keep the desperation out of my voice.

Craig just shakes his head. "No. Just no," he says and it almost comes out like a laugh. "I'm not getting into this. Not with you."

"What? Why?" I ask.

He chuckles a little and rubs his temple. "I just can't, alright? I'm not giving my ex's new fling any advice. It's too weird."

My heart almost stops and my cheeks get hot. "I- I'm not a fling. Kenny is just my friend. I'm straight."

He raises his eyebrows. "Really." Then he shrugs and lets out a sigh. "Well, I don't deal with it, okay? Kenny- he just got to be a little much for me, I guess."

"Is that why you guys broke up?"

Craig ran his tongue over his teeth and sighed again. I swear, he's always exasperated at some level. "Look, I'm really not interested in talking about that. I don't know what your sudden interest is, but it's not like I'm about to open up to you, man."

"Sorry, I just…" I chuckle a little. "It's hard being friends with someone who won't talk to you about anything real."

His expression softens a little. "I promise, I don't know how to handle it any more than you do. Kenny's not exactly an easy person to handle once you get past the eccentricities and the acting. He's secretive and he refuses to be confronted and it never gets any easier." He shrugs and looks down at his shoes. "I couldn't deal."

"So am I just supposed to pretend that he doesn't disappear?" I say, and I can heard myself getting frustrated.

"God knows that's what the rest of us do," he replies, and then he pauses. "I know you said you guys are just friends, but just in case… Just, ah, just be careful, alright? He sucks people in with all that enthusiasm and he makes people feel special, but… Be careful."

He pats me once on the shoulder and walks away. I have completely lost my appetite. I don't really know what I wanted Craig to say, but I just hoped I would be at least a little more at ease. Instead, I'm stressed and so much he said rubbed me the wrong way. First, assuming I'm dating Kenny. Then, all his pessimism and his defeatist attitude. And then again, still thinking there was something going on between me and Kenny. I decide to chalk it up to him being a jealous ex and walk to the cafeteria.

Cartman and Stan are there, and Butters continues to be avoiding the lunch table. I absent-mindedly wonder what happened between him and Cartman when I realize that no one at the table has a tray or any food at all.

Stan glances up at me looking kind of pathetic. "Hey, man," he says and he sounds like Eeyore. "You not eating either?"

"Still full from breakfast," I reply, trying to keep my voice at least twice as cheerful. "What's up with you guys?"

Cartman shoots me a glare. "Fuck off."

"Hey, chill, dude," I respond quickly. I don't have much patience for this right now. "What's wrong with you?"

He clenches his fists. "I'm not in the mood to deal with your goddamn daywalker Jew crap right now, asshole," he snaps. He pushes away from the table and storms out of the cafeteria, bumping his shoulder into every person in his way.

"Guess I shouldn't have asked," I mutter to myself, leaning my forehead into my hand. Then I sigh and look over at Stan. "What's going on with you?"

He lays his head on top of his arms on the table. "Wendy and I got in a fight again. She said we wouldn't make it a week dating in college."

"I'm sorry, man," I reply, putting my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you guys will work it out. You always do."

He just shrugs. For once, he doesn't seem to want to talk about it. "What about you? I thought you'd be over the moon happy with Kenny back."

"I'm fine," I say, maybe a little too quickly. "You know, I just remembered that I have some work to do. I completely forgot last night. I'll see you later."

I got up and walked quickly out of there right as Kenny and Tweek were walking in. Kenny smiled politely and then kept heading toward his table. My heart pounded in my throat and my cheeks felt flushed. I had to take a moment to catch my breath before continuing out.

Today is too much. I am done with this day. I can't handle it anymore. Maybe I'll just take off, skip the rest of the day, play sick. I feel sick anyway. I never skip, so I think people would cut me some slack. Maybe not my mom, but my teachers. I can just email them when I get home, tell them I got sick and needed to go home immediately. It'll be fine, just a one time thing.

I start to feel better before I remember that I don't have my car. I can't leave until Kenny does. WHich means another car ride with him. And who knows if he'll be friendly, upbeat, sweet Kenny or moody and quiet Kenny? Craig's right, I can't do this.

Maybe I can get Stan to drive me home. He's depressed, it shouldn't be too hard to convince him to skip. Maybe he and I could just mope and play video games. Of course, I'd have to admit to him that I'm not fine. I might have too much pride to do that. I'd also have to tell Kenny that I don't need a ride home, which might be weird.

I'm so caught up in thinking about this that I almost round a corner before registering the arguing that's happening. I quickly stop and back up a little. I intend to just walk away, but I accidentally eavesdrop. Well, maybe it wasn't that accidental, but whatever.

"Can't you just talk to me?" a voice says, quiet and urgent. It sounds like Cartman, but it sounds too sincere and pleading to be him. "What's your problem?"

"Just go away, I can't do this right now," a small voice replies. I think it's Butters, and suddenly, I'm very intrigued.

"Come on, just tell me what's wrong," Cartman replies, sounding more desperate.

"Like you don't know," Butters snaps back. It's weird hearing him sound angry.

"I don't!" Cartman says back, raising his voice. "I've really been trying here, okay?"

"Yeah? Have you?" He pauses for a moment. "Do you remember what I told you the night of the party?"

"Of course," Cartman murmurs.

"Okay. And do you remember what you told me?"

"Butters, come on. You said you were okay with keeping it a secret."

"Look, I know, okay? I know what I said," Butters replies, keeping his voice low. "But the way you've been acting, the way you talk around other people, I just-"

"I've been acting the way I always do. What's the problem?"

"Eric, that's exactly the problem," Butters replies. "I thought- I don't know. I thought I would be okay with this."

"What are you saying?" Cartman's voice sounds like it breaks, but I'm not sure. I've never heard Cartman's voice break before. Not for real, anyway.

"I can't do this. You know I can't. I can't listen to you talk and joke like I don't exist. It hurts."

Neither of them say anything for a moment and then I heard footsteps going down the hall. I walk the other direction.

This day is too much. I've decided. I'm going to just go ask Stan to skip with me. I can't handle this right now.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N- Hey, guys. Thanks for all the reviews, I love reading them. Let me know what you think of this chapter! I'll try to get the next one up soon.

* * *

Back at Stan's place, we lay on his couch with the blinds closed. There's something comforting- if a little depressing- about watching cartoons in the dark. He jumped at the chance when I mentioned the idea to him. I guess he really didn't want to run in to Wendy. I'm not sure what exactly happened between the two of them other than that they fought, but it seems to have hit him harder than usual.

I hear him sniffle every once in a while. I feel bad for being so caught up in Kenny. I don't think I have it in me to comfort Stan this time. It's good that he seems like he just wants to sulk in the dark, too. It's certainly all I want to do after the day I've had.

My phone buzzes and both me and Stan jump. I sigh loudly before checking it.

_hey, man where are you? I'm ready to leave_

Well, I was feeling calm. Somehow, Kenny always manages to ruin that.

_I left early. Wasn't feeling well. _

I am about to put my phone down when it goes off again.

_sorry, man, I hope you feel better. still want to drive me to school tomorrow?_

I make an honest effort to say no. I think of excuses, like I'm getting a ride with Stan, or my car isn't working, or I'm feeling too sick to go to school tomorrow. But I just keep realizing how hard it is for me to say no to Kenny McCormick.

_Yeah, sure, see you tomorrow._

"I don't think we're gonna make it this time, Ky," Stan says suddenly, his voice rough and cracking. It sounds like he's been smoking and crying simultaneously. The sound of it hurts my chest.

"What makes you say that?" I reply. My voice sounds scratchy, like I haven't used it in days.

"She's right, you know? How could we possibly make it in college? We've been on and off for six years. It's ridiculous." He tries to keep his tone matter-of-fact but falters at the end. This is how Stan deals with serious issues that upset him. He tries to be reasonable about it and he tries to be logical, but that guy has always been all heart. He rarely makes decisions based on logic, meaning this is Wendy talking. This must be what she said to him. He's just repeating it because he doesn't know how to be rational, especially when it comes to Wendy.

"I'm sorry, man," is all I can say.

He shrugs. "Maybe it's for the best." He bites at his fingernails and stares at the ground.

"To be honest, dude, I always thought you deserved better than her," I reply.

He lets out a short, forced chuckle. "Yeah, you never really made that a secret."

"Well, I stand by it. You and Wendy are different, you know? She's a robot, man. She can turn her feelings on and off. She can think about love rationally, like it's a math formula. People aren't supposed to do that. They're not supposed to be able to. You deserve someone who loves you so much that they can't think about it rationally. Like what you were for Wendy."

Stan smiles weakly and glances over at me. "Thanks, Ky." He sighs and rubs his eyes a little. "What about you? Why'd you have to run out for the day?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. Just having an off day, I guess."

"Did the reunion not quite meet your expectations?" he replies.

I look up, a little surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Ky. Kenny'd been gone a while. Then he comes back and all of a sudden, you can't stand to be at school?" Stan raises an eyebrow at me.

I shoot Stan a glare but I can't hold eye contact for very long. "This has nothing to do with Kenny."

"I call bullshit," he says, but he doesn't press the matter further. We sit there in silence for a little while and I guess it makes me want to talk about it more.

"He just- he acts like nothing happened. I just want to know what happened," I say after a while.

"That's just how he is. You know Kenny." He says it casually, and I frown.

"I don't think I do," I reply quietly. "He's so confusing."

"You know, sometimes, when you talk about him, it sounds like me when I talk about Wendy," he says, giving me a look.

"What exactly are you implying?" I say, my voice getting cold.

He shrugs and looks back at the TV. "Just something to think about, Ky. Don't get all pissed."

I open my mouth to reply, but I don't know what to say. I mean, Kenny has been occupying a lot of my thoughts lately. Even when he was missing, I thought about him constantly almost. And now that he's back, I can't stop thinking about him at all. Honestly, it seems a little obsessive and I'm not sure why. Maybe I should take a break, give myself some time and space away from Kenny. This can't be healthy or normal.

"I kissed him," I blurt out before I can stop myself. Stan does respond for a few seemingly endless moments, and I chew my lip, wishing I hadn't said anything. Stan doesn't respond for so long, I start feeling like maybe I didn't actually say anything at all, or maybe he just hadn't heard and I'm saved.

"Wow, um. This is news. Why?" he replies, looking at me, his dark blue eyes wide and confused. He looks more intrigued than anything else.

I shrug as casually as I can manage. "It was the night of the party. He carried me to my room and I kissed him before I fell asleep. I was drunk, who knows why I did it?"

He shakes his head and exhales. "Well, you know what they say. Drunk words, sober thoughts or whatever."

"Stan-" I say, warning in my voice.

"Maybe that's why he left," he interrupts, clearly not really paying attention to me.

"What?" I reply, a little taken aback.

"Well he'd just been getting over Craig, you know?" Stan says, turning towards me. "So maybe he was starting to get feelings for you, or maybe he was thinking about Craig again, and you kissing him just-" He cuts himself off and his face softens as he looks at me. "Or, you know, it could be something else entirely, what do I know?"

"It was just a drunk peck on the lips. Hardly something to skip town about," I say, rolling my eyes and trying to look nonchalant.

"Whatever you say, man. I'm sure you know him better than I do." He relaxes back onto the couch and we keep mindlessly watching the screen.

It's nice to sit here like this, in silence with my best friend. It feels like we haven't done much of this since we were kids. It feels safe, I guess. Like if everything else is going wrong, at least I always have Stan. The world could be ending, but me and Stan could just hide in here watching bad movies until it all falls apart. It's comforting.

The next day, Kenny is waiting outside his house by the time I get there. I kind of messed around at home, getting ready really slowly and basically just putting off driving here.

His face lights up when he sees me drive up and my chest hurts. He scampers over to the car- I don't know how else to describe it- and jumps into the passenger seat.

"Hey, Ky!" he chirps. "You're a little late. That never happens."

My skeleton feels stiff under my skin and I feel like I'm going to have trouble turning the car. "Yeah, I guess I slept late today."

"You guess?" he laughs and shakes his head. "As though you're uncertain."

I don't respond and I can feel his eyes burning into me.

"Are you avoiding me?" he says, but his tone has a smile in it.

"That's an interesting question, coming from you," I reply without thinking about it.

He gets quiet for a moment and I glance over at him. A small smile appeared on his lips. "I wasn't avoiding _you _specifically. That was just a side effect, love."

I stiffen at the pet name. "Whatever," I answer.

He chuckles a little and then we drive in silence for a few minutes. Then I glance over at him and notice that he's giving me a look and smirking. "So, Kyle," he says. "You kissed me."

My eyes snap back to the road and I can't quite explain why, but I slam my foot on the accelerator. I drive more recklessly than I ever have before, speeding like crazy and not slowing down on the turns. Kenny bursts out laughing and begins to cheer and I drive faster.

It's exhilarating, moving so fast through the world and yet staying mostly still. My arms are stiff and my elbows are locked but I am flying. Kenny sticks his arm out the window and grins at me like a maniac. I start laughing, because I don't know what else to do, and so does he. It feels like a perfect moment.

And then I hear the sirens behind me and the panic sets in. I slow down carefully and the lack of wind shooting through the car feels far too quiet. As I pull over, I glance at Kenny, who seems unfazed. I, on the other hand, feel like crying.

Officer Barbrady pulls himself out of the car and saunters over and I just get more and more anxious.

"Mr. Broflovski," he says when he gets to the window in his slightly too loud, absent minded voice. "I didn't think I'd be pulling you over."

"Sir, I'm so sorry, we were just late to class, and-" I start.

"Young man, do you know how fast you were going?" he interrupts.

I pause and consider how to respond. "Not exactly, no."

Kenny leans over me and smiles at the cop. "Do _you _know how fast we were going?"

"Well, I-"

"Because the last time I checked, your radar gun was broken. Is it still?"

Officer Barbrady tilts his head slightly to the side. "Yes?"

"Well, then you can't really say for sure what our _exact _speed was, can you?" Kenny's tone is mildly condescending, and I'm sure any other officer would've been pissed. Officer Barbrady just innocently puts his hand on his chin like he's thinking really hard.

"I guess not."

"Sir, I'm reasonably certain Kyle here was driving the speed limit. In fact, I believe he was driving five miles _under _the speed limit."

Officer Barbrady pauses again. "Really?"

"Yes," Kenny says and his voice is even more condescending. "So there's really nothing to see here, okay?"

"Okay! Just move along then, get to school!" he replies cheerfully as he walks back to his car.

Kenny chuckles a bit. "Will do, sir."

I'm a little stunned for a moment and I just stare at him. He grins back a lifts an eyebrow.

"What?" he says.

I shake my head. "That just seemed too easy."

"It's Officer Barbrady, Ky. What did you expect?" he replies with a laugh. "How many times do you think he's pulled me over?"

I scoff and start the car up again. I drive the rest of the way to school still a little too fast, running stop signs and turning quickly. Since I procrastinated and we got pulled over, we really should've been late to class but the speeding helps a surprising amount and we end up right on time.

He grins at me as he leaves the car. "See, I'm not the only one who goes out of my way to avoid things."

I glare and open my mouth to respond, to defend myself and say that I didn't disappear and it's not the same and he caught me off guard. But before I can, he reaches over a squeezes my hand once before pulling away.

He smiles big, all his teeth showing, and winks at me. "See you after school, love," he says. And then he scampers away like a puppy and I'm left standing in the parking lot, heart beating fast, unable to remember what class I have first period.


End file.
